My Top 25 (because 20 wasn't enough) Favorite Pregnancy Highlights

We've all heard them before.  The "ins and outs" of pregnancy.  The moans, groans and bitch rants of pregnant ladies.  The happy tears, countless pee breaks and empty tubs of ice cream we all associate with society's most fantastic person- the expecting Mommy.  I tried to pick 20 of my "favorite" pregnancy highlights to share, but was up to 25 before I knew it and had to stop myself.

Oh my Gosh, I just thought of another one and I can't change the title to 26 things because that just sounds dumb, but it's too good not to include. 
Here goes:  My 26 Favorite Pregnancy Highlights!
Not for the faint at heart :)

Oh, and just let me say- this is about MY pregnancy.  Not yours or your sister's or your neighbor's or your bff whose pregnancy was smooth sailing.  I'm not writing an educational blog on the effects of pregnancy on the mind and body.  These are just my feelings/experiences/rants and I want to share.  I'm not competing with anyone else who may have had better or worse experiences with gas and/or heartburn. 
And another thing, I won't use all of those dumb "preggo lingo" abbreviations.  As you know, my baby is Junior Gator Chittlin Frank and not "LO," "DS," or anything else retarded that people say on those pregnancy websites.  But I will, because it's funny, make up my own and call Reesh "BD" cuz he do be da baby daddy! :)

What kind of example would I set for pregnant women across the globe if I didn't start right off with a complaint?

1.) If it's a body part, it can and WILL hurt!
-What's up with this anyway?  Couldn't we just skip all the pain and save that for labor and delivery?  Some people claim to have "been to the end" and come back.  Well, I haven't exactly "seen the light" yet (though close many times) but I swear I've been to 70 and back!  I feel just like Lois in the old "I've fallen and can't get up" commercial.  Do you honestly know how bad every pregnant lady secretly wants to snatch up one of those automatic "sit n shop" carts at the front of Wal Mart?  Well, I may have been the first to admit it, but let me tell ya...walking from the car to the old lady store greeter is enough to do you in for the day.  And how is it she stands there for a whole shift with a smile on her face, and I'm 3 times younger and can hardly make it through the front door?  This is what I'm talking about.  I have also had tremendous pelvic pain since about week 25.  All of my below-the-belt bones feel like they've been crushed with a jack hammer.  Sitting, standing, laying, walking, sleeping....hell, my pelvis hurts just blogging.  My back feels like I've been giving free piggy-back rides to all the fat kids at the carnival all week long.  My legs are achy.  Yest  day while standing perfectly still to hang a calender on the wall I did some kind of freaky knee-popping thing that has me all wobbly this morning.  It would just be nice to feel youthful again- bouncy, springing, care-free.  Now I just waddle and hold my back everywhere I go. :)

2.) Chewbacca
-In the 6th grade I kind of liked this big-eared boy named Matt.  Until he was making fun of my name one day in band class and called me Chewbacca (because that SO sounds like Rebecca.....)  At the time I had no idea who Chewbacca was.  Here I am 14 years later blogging about Chewbacca and actually looking like him too!  WTH with the hair, seriously?  My family has a little Italian blood running through us so it's not totally uncommon that we all need to get a little lip-waxin' every now and then.  Who doesn't, right?  Seriously, these days I can shave my legs in the a.m. and have a five o'clock shadow by lunch!  It's not even worth it- I don't have stock invested in Venus, I'll shave my legs when I feel like it.  Or when I have to go to my p.t. appointments, haha. Ya know the blonde fuzzy "happy trail" you noticed you had at the beach last summer?  BTW, WHY do you always notice body hair when you're in a bikini or checking yourself out in the rear-view car mirror you see that your mustache/eyebrows/sideburns are in fact much worse than you thought?!?!?!  Anyway, my blonde fuzzy happy trail metamorphosed into a much darker, longer than fuzz, "it ain't no trail- you got off the beaten path and you is lost in the forest somewhere, and you ain't happy" trail.  I have nothing else to say about this.

3.) Buddha
-While we're name-calling here, let's not forget this one!  It is my opinion that everyone that who has ever been pregnant has felt like Buddha at least once in her 9 months of glory.  For some reason there exists a gravitational force between a pregnant belly and the hands of the people who are talking to her.  I'm the world's worst!  I just wanna do the "wax on, wax off" with every pregnant belly I see!  They're just so cute!!!  And while I know I've made many women feel uncomfortable, I don't really care.  You're pregnant, folks gonna be touchin' the belly- get over it.  HOWEVER, before I got the slightest hint of a belly (besides the beer belly I was making progress on), people were still groping and grabbing me.  Really?  Does it make you feel better to grab a nice handful of my fat roll?  That baby is still tucked neatly behind my pubic bone somewhere, and meanwhile you're being an asshole with a hand full of my belly pudge!  Now, I can honestly say I am proud of my belly and I like it when people touch it.  It makes me feel good.  "Yeah...that's MY huge belly.  And MY baby is in there.  And you've got a smile on your face from touching it."  It makes me feel good.  So go ahead, if you see me out, and rub the Buddha belly.  This leads me to number four......

4.) Body Love <3
-I get it.  The skanky, naked maternity pictures.  These women just feel great about themselves!  No, I don't condone taking these types of pictures, and have not done so myself, but I get it.  I just know that while I may feel great naked, I might not LOOK so great naked and not everyone on Pinterest wants to see my naked ass posed with BD lookin' like we're trying to make another baby- seriously, go check out maternity photos on Pinterest if you don't know what I'm talking about.  Why, 8 months ago did I not feel this confident about my body as I do now lookin' like Large Marge?  I would have no inhibitions about prancing around in a bikini at almost 9 months pregnant!  )But I won't.... and only because it's too cold to. ;)

5.) Mother Hen Syndrome
-It starts before someone picks on your preschooler at the playground.  It's the funniest thing, but I've come up with scenarios in my head about anytime in Junior's life that something may not go right and I'm already planning my attack.  BD says I'm ridiculous.  Why am I even fussing about such things already?  I just find myself daydreaming about ol' Gator Chittlin' and thinking about what he's going to be like when he's a bit older and then things like his first scraped knee, his first hurt feeling and his first broken heart make me feel like psycho Hulk Mama.  I didn't know these feelings would come so soon- he's not even here yet! :)  Yes, I will be schizo-actin'-soccer-mom on the sideline of all of his ball games, yet PTA president-cupcake-master at the bake-sale.  Just wait.  I will run you over with my mini-van if you even look at my child crazy.  Now I'm all worked up- maybe this is why Reesh tells me to not think about things like that yet....

6.) Nobody Cares.  This is speaking very general, but.....
-You pee on a stick.  You get two pink lines.  You announce it on Facebook.  This is the world we live in.  All 468 (shame on you if you have this many, and smack yourself on the wrist if you have more) of your facebook "friends" see your post.  All 7 of them who actually have a clue about your life will more than likely not respond to your "I'm preggo" post because since they matter you already called them up on the telephone to tell them.  The other 461 will religiously stalk your shit down trying to get some info.  Are you married?  Oh, you got knocked-up.  Is this the same BD as your last three?  Were you "trying" or was this an "accident?"  Bitch needs some birth control.  Ewe, I hope the baby looks like the daddy.  ABOUT TIME!  Again, already?  I thought you were gay!?  These people could give 2 shits less about your pregnancy.  And out of the 7 you thought did, think again.  Folks is just straight nosey!  For the next nine months your world will revolve around you and your precious womb hi-jacker, and naturally that'll be all you want to talk about.  Pat yourself on the back if you have THREE good people who will regularly check up on you and be genuinely interested in this weeks pregnancy symptoms.  People get pregnant every day.  As much as you feel YOUR story/pregnancy/baby is the most special, and while it is to you, the majority of your social circle could care less.

7.) Sex
-Barf me.  Then go read #1, #2, #11 and #12 :)

8.) Shower time- what a douche!  Hehe
-Excuse me if you've never been to Europe and was offended by my #8 title, Google it.
My daily shower has turned into a circus act.  Or maybe the freak act at the circus.  Our bathroom is strange- it has the whole bathtub/shower combo on one side and directly opposite a stand-up shower.  Not sure I'll ever understand that, but ok- it's working in my advantage.  We never used the stand-up shower until recently.  Our bathtub sits up so high that when you step out of it you really need to have mad skills not to break your neck.  So when I got pregnant Reesh banned me from the bathtub shower and sent me to the other side of the bathroom to the lame shower.  Pretty soon a whole new set of problems arose.  I was getting bigger, the shower was seeming smaller, and if I were to ever shave my legs again something had to give.  SO, BD bought me one of those small Rubbermaid foot stools to sit on while I was in the shower- after all, after my #7 he'd be happy with just smooth legs these days. :)  Now I've gotten to the point where I just completely shower while sitting on this foot stool.  Here's some TMI for you:  Ya know, everyone and their neighbor has a look downstairs while you're pregnant.  Even my physical therapist, as you know, has seen more than my midwife.  So keeping yourself tidy is a must.  But how do you do that when you can't see anything?  And for some reason, waxing is taboo in the NL, of ALL places in the world!!!  Anyway, in an attempt to groom recently- God, it's a good thing my shower walls can't talk, I successfully gave myself below-the-belt crop circles, crotch circles as I will forever remember them.  I had stubble on one corner, mohawk on the other, nothing on top, and razor burn just under that.  It looked like the neighborhood shrubs in Edward Scissor Hands after Edward moved in.  *deep sigh*

9.) Sober Hangovers
-How is it possible that you haven't had any big girl drinks and you feel like you would had you stayed out 'till 4 painting the town red?  Pregnancy nausea is like having the worst permanent hangover and you don't even have trashy Myspace pictures to show for it.  It's horrible!  I had the permanent hangover feeling until my 17th week.  It's worse than anyone told me it would be.  And believe me, if you feel the need to up-chuck, do it!  It's an immediate relief....for the next 2 hours at least.  Oh, and nothing helps.  No ginger tea, peppermints, preggy-pops, small meals, water, taking a nap, nada!  The only thing that helped me not die was never letting myself get hungry and not getting overly warm.  Other than that, it's a horrible wave you have to ride out until it's over.  Which isn't gonna be at 12 weeks like everyone tells you.  Have you hugged your toilet today?

10.) Buy maternity clothes.  Wear sweatpants.
-Seriously, I understand you've gotta have clothes to wear outside the house.  Well, unless you live in the States- then you can go everywhere in your sweatpants.  If I pulled that shit over here, I'd be deported on the next boat.  Over sized sweatpants are bringing sexy back.  If you're at home and you're wearing jeans or anything uncomfortable...you're wrong! 
*WITH THAT BEING SAID, I feel like pregnant women should take EXTRA care to look cute in public.  Yeah, lemme be shallow for a minute.  We're humans.  We judge.  And if you're pregnant and you're roaming the aisles of the Piggly Wiggly and you're wearing your husband's p.t. sweats and an XL Disney character t-shirt, people are gonna talk smack.  And rightly so.  Being large and uncomfortable doesn't mean you have to look that way.  Get it together ladies- take those Crocs off and get your roots colored!

11.) You've got a little...yeah, on your shirt...right there.
-Anything that can leak, will.  ANYTHING.

12.) WTF is that and WHERE did it come from?
- Skin tags, stretch marks and nipples, oh my!  I'll start with the nipples...because in my case that's where it started.  They say one of your first clues to pregnancy can be sore and/or enlarged breasts.  I never had sore boobs with Aunt Flo and it didn't seem to start with pregnancy either.  I had somewhat sensitive nipples in the beginning- which was odd for me because normally you could hook 'em up to jumper cables and I'd barely flinch.  But the nipples took the cake!  Is it necessary that they get THAT big?  I already have huge knockers and now my nipples are competing for size.  I was glad for them to darken up a bit as they were so light in color before you had to do a double-take to make sure I had any. ;)  Now they're like giant bulls-eyes....which btw, is totally the point I know, I just didn't expect them to get so big!  Skin tags- barf!  I have TWO on the inside, yes the inside, of my bellybutton.  How does that even happen?  And now that that sucker is a "halfie" instead of a real deep "innie" the skin tags seem to have beaming lights emitting from them- "LOOK!  LOOK!"  ugh!  I also have a horrible scar on top of my belly button where my oh-so cute tummy used to be pierced.  I had it pierced for about 12 years and I think the hole is still open.  But it has stretched along with my belly and it looks horrible! :(  Stretch marks- hmm.  At about 16 weeks I started noticing these tiny reddish/purplish marks on the outsides of my hips.  I thought they were blood vessels (shut up) until my mom labelled them as "stretch marks."  So far that was it, a few on my hips- bad, but not so horrible.  UNTIL LAST NIGHT while BD was feeling my tummy and pointed out one all the way on the bottom of my stomach.  No wonder I hadn't seen it- I can't see past my belly button scar and skin tags.  I guess I'm not above the pregnancy law, but it was nice being at the end and not having any marks on my belly. :/  This is me at 33 weeks-

13.) BD is pregnant!
-As if there wasn't enough bitching going around, Reesh is totally pregnant in every way.  In the beginning, he'd feel tired for no reason.  "I just feel out of it," he'd say.  When my bladder took off in full force, HE was the one waking up sometimes twice in one night to go to the bathroom.  Really?  His back hurts, he doesn't feel good, he's tired....blah blah blah.  Can I not have my own nine months to shine by myself?  At around 10 weeks or so I googled "My husband is pregnant."  Article after article, blog after blog, I read about women's pregnant husbands.  There's even a term for this bull.  "Sympathy Pregnancy" in layman's terms.  Get it together guys, we are not paying you any attention!  Here's Reesh and Booger with the fetal doppler....

 

14.) Play-dates
-I want all of my kidless friends to go get knocked-up RAT NA!  I need to be planning Jr.'s social life and how I am supposed to do if no one will get pregnant?  Haha.  Seriously, I have a small group of girlfriends here (and my SIL- ooooh I hope she doesn't read this!) who need to get on it (or get it on...whichever)!  I want to be able to have play dates and swap parenting stories with these chicks. Who am I supposed to gossip with at the playground? :)

15.)  Lose it.  And don't be ashamed.
-We all know pregnancy and emotions are like "love and marriage- you can't have one without the other!"  Sorry, I had to.  But it's worse than I had anticipated.  I am already the drama llama, but I have surprised even myself with my outbursts lately.  And I don't mean "look at me wrong and I turn into the uni-bomber" outbursts...but I just can't keep it together lately.  Reference my previous blog entry "Duvet Dismay."  I can't even think of Junior sometimes without losing it.  It's like I have no emotional coping skills anymore- I cry about everything.  I cried when BD found the stretch mark on my belly last night.  I cried two days before that on his birthday when I hugged him and told him I was happy he was born 28 years ago.  I get choked up at least once a day by someone's Facebook status.  I'm sure I'll be in tears before I'm done writing this blog. 

16.) Laugh until you cry.  Cry until you piss your sweatpants.  Piss your sweatpants until you hyperventilate.
-This follows up #15.  I can't tell you how many times this has happened.  We've all laughed until we've cried.  But this...this pregnancy version of that is just plain cruel.  And the worst part is having to take off those favorite sweatpants to wash them.  Sometimes Reesh will get me laughing so hard and it quickly turns bad.  Not just laughing and having tears at the same time, but bawling!  And snotting.  And straight up belting out in the "ugly cry."  Then BD gets a scared look on his face, not knowing whether to keep laughing, laugh harder at this ridiculous situation, or console me because by this point I can't breathe.

17.) I'm gonna wash my own mouth out with soap.
-No, not because I have a potty mouth.  Because I keep saying and thinking things that sound just like my mother.  Gulp.  I'm starting to think like a mom, which is a good thing- but I'm sounding just like my own mom.  Which isn't a horrible thing, but we all swore it won't happen to us- and then it does.

18.) "If that were my kid, I'd...."
-Ya know, before you have kids (and even other parents are guilty) you find yourself pointing out faults in everyone's parenting styles.  Reesh and I are no-less guilty.  We are constantly critiquing people we see in public and how they handle their children.  OF COURSE, we always know better!  We'd always handle the situation a bit more maturely, and we'd never allow our children to make us that angry.  Of course, this will change in just a few years when we're screaming and threatening the lives of our children in the McDonald's drive-thru.  But for now, it's fun to play pretend perfect parents with pretend perfect kids.  We know we're wrong, and we admit it.

19.) I knew I loved you, but...
- There's something about Reesh being my BD that makes me fall in love with him all over again.  I find myself just looking at him sometimes and picturing him playing with our kids (OH GOD, I knew I wouldn't make it through this blog without shedding a tear!) and it fills my heart with joy!  He's such a great friend/husband/son/colleague I just know he'll be the sweetest daddy!  He gets the biggest smile on his face when we talk about Junior and it just makes me so darn grateful to have such a good good man!  I hope to be as sweet to him as he always is to me- and after you read #7, the least I can do is be sweet and shave my legs, right?  I love you, Reesh!

20.) Even I have heard enough...
-Sometimes, I get tired of hearing my own complaints.  My back hurts, my pelvis hurts, I have battery acid in my throat and chest, I can't breathe, I'm tired, I don't feel so hot, I'm fat, I'm ugly, my face is breaking out, I'm irritated, why are you looking at me like that?  Even I wanna shove a cork in it every now and then.

21.) Name-Calling
-Choosing your baby's name.  And if your BD is European (or otherwise strange) guarding that name like it's the Holy Grail.  You didn't really think we were naming our baby Junior Gator Chittlin' Frank, did you?  Jr. does have a name...like a real one.  Deciding on a name was fairly simple for us.  We made two lists- one for a girl, and one for a boy.  Each list was narrowed down to about 5 names by the time we learned the sex.  After that we just...chose one we liked.  At first we chose another name, used it for a day and then changed it to the name we're using now.  Jr. will have TWO middle names, which are both family names.  Not sure how this works if the poor child ever wants to learn to spell his name or have anything with a monogram on it..?  Anyway, BD gave in and let me announce the baby's gender but is holding firm to saving the name until his birth.  I haven't felt the urge once to tell anyone his name- unusual for me.  I did tell the dude from Etsy who made some vinyl wall art with his name on it- shoot me. My only concern is that since I've referred to Jr. as...JUNIOR for the entire pregnancy, I might feel strange calling him by his real name.  Maybe he'll always just be Junior. <3

22.) Decorating and shopping- not that I'm listing strengths and weaknesses here....
-This has been SO MUCH FUN!  We started so early, and boy am I glad we did.  I don't understand how people wait until the last minute to start decorating a nursery or shopping for baby-musts.  This mess ain't cheap!  We have been blessed with 9 whole months to prepare for our little ones- we should take advantage of it, 'cause we need it!  I can't tell you how many times Reesh and I have went and layed down on the floor in the nursery and just talked, laughed, daydreamt.  Setting up the nursery together has been so special!  We've created this little miracle together and now we've created a perfect little place for him to live and feel comfortable in.  We love looking at all of his tiny little things- and we still ooh and ahh over them every time!  I can't wait to have Jr. in his room!!!
I WILL SAY....coming up for a theme for the nursery and picking out a crib set was a beeyotch!  I almost needed anti-depressants to get me through it.  This is my first baby- I want everything to be perfect!  All themes/colors/bed sets were too dark, too light, too sporty, too girly, too many animals, not enough patterns, cheap looking, too expensive, too much green, not enough blue, no cute factor....I almost lost my mind!  Jr. is a very lucky boy that his mom found something she liked because she almost threw him in a sleeping bag.  Haha, no...not really.  But I was afraid I might have had to if I couldn't find anything.  It all came together and after MONTHS of searching, I went and ordered the first set I ever looked at.  I know, &*^% %^&*$# *&^%* !!!!!!!!!  We ordered some cuuuuuuute vinyl wall decals from Etsy, a few final touches, and voila- super sweet, super cute nursery.  Just enough cute factor, not over the top, soft colors, different patterns, crisp, babyish but not too babyish, playful but not toddlerish- it all worked out.  Thank God- it wasn't looking good for my sanity for a while.

23.) Fooooooooood!
-"FOOD" needs a new definition while pregnant.  Eating becomes more than just eating.  In the beginning, you're sick as hell, you're lucky to eat anything!  Then, whenever you can pull it together to eat a meal you have this long list of things you can't eat or you'll kill your baby.  Sandwich meat?  Really?  I will just say the scaring antics work- I am 35 weeks and have yet to eat a piece of cold deli meat this entire pregnancy.  I was so sick at one point I was roaming the aisles of the grocery store gagging my poor heart out just looking at all the food.  I went home with a small tub of chocolate mousse that night and that's what I had for dinner.  And it wasn't just a one-time deal.  I LOVE veggies!  Love 'em!  The thought of putting anything remotely green in my mouth was enough to do me in.  So, thank you prenatal vitamins, for giving my body everything that chocolate mousse couldn't.  When I was over the nausea I wanted to eat everything in sight.  Mostly comfort and junk foods.  I wanted three plates of biscuits and gravy, fried chicken, Tex-Mex, bacon, gumbo, melted cheeeeese on anything, and a side order of jalapenos with everything!  I went home for 5 weeks during the end of my 2nd trimester and ATE LIKE A CAVEMAN WITH NO SHAME!  I had my share of everything southern, fried, and grease-tastic to include homemade biscuits and gravy (tomato and sausage), fried fish and all the fixins, and pounds and pounds of chitterlings!  Yes, that's why 'Chittlin' is part of Jr.'s name.  Collard greens (and the pot liquor), dump cake, baked beans, coleslaw, brisket, liver & gizzards....y'all I'm feelin' real ghetto right now, but it was SO good and comforting.  Going to Alabama for those 5 weeks was like a soul revival, lol.  Along with all the lard came bouts of heartburn.  But I've learned that Crisco and water in equal amounts will give you equal amounts of heartburn- I ain't fidna lick no celery stick for dinner!

24.) Fee-fi-fo-fum I smell.....everything!
-May the superpowers of the super nose be granted to every pregnant lady!  Seriously, I can smell my own thoughts these days.  I could've received a side job with the K-9 unit these last few months.  When nausea was dominating my life, this sucked big time.  The smell of the fridge was one thing....I just opened it and got what I needed in record speed.  The smell of the dishwasher....that's something I don't even like to talk about anymore.  I'm pretty sure I managed to stack dishes up on the counter for a good 2 months- not that I had 2 month's worth of dirty dishes laying around, but for 2 months Reesh had to load and empty the darn thing.  I just couldn't handle that metallic-lemon...ugh, you know what I mean...the dishwasher smell.  And you know when a glass has been in the dishwasher and it's almost like the glass is porous and soaks in a bit of that scent?  You go to drink from it and you smell and taste the dishwasher- %&*&%$#%&!!!!!!  Any military wives reading this?  You know the military smell?  Your husband's flight suit/ACU'S/whatever he wears smells like this everyday when he comes home.  I secretly love that smell- reminds me of being little and my dad coming home and his BDU's always smelled like that.  But anyway, that same smell that always made me feel good was making me feel like I had just sniffed the crypt keeper.  I'm not sure I ever expressed it to BD in quite those words, but...that's how I really felt.  One time the pantry made me sick.  The smell of the cans/cardboard boxes...something had me running out and I barely made it to the kitchen sink.  COFFEE!  Coffee was forbidden in our house for a while.  If Reesh was gonna drink coffee he had to do so on the other side of the house and not kiss me until the next day.  I'm not a coffee drinker myself, but usually enjoy the smell- who doesn't right?  Pregnant me.  That's who doesn't.

25.) Modesty?  Oh, I checked mine at the door.
-I'd always heard once you had a baby all modesty goes out the window.  For me it started once I decided to get pregnant.  Things didn't go as planned and we ended up using fertility treatment.  This meant 2 times a week sometimes heading to the OBGYN and getting the dildo-cam treatment.  If it's not bad enough having to do that, the thing is totally phallic and they even use a condom and lube.  But ok, we got pregnant- that's the important part.  Right back to the dildo-cam to confirm pregnancy, and then again a few weeks later for a check-up.  Then it's getting shots in the ass, spreading your legs open as far as you can for your p.t. while laying on your back and in your undies, and I haven't even had this baby yet!

26.) O Sandman, Sandman!  Wherefore art thou Sandman?
-In my first trimester I had some real sucky sleep.  I chalked that up to all the crazy thoughts and emotions I was having- should be normal.  That only lasted a few weeks really, and since then I have slept like an angel.  Until a few weeks ago.  I guess the typical third trimester shit sleep has arrived, yay.  I've been sleeping with a different multitude of pillows for the past few months- pregnancy pillow, body pillow, and now King-sized pillow.  The problem is I HAVE to have some kind of pillow between my knees because of the pelvic pain- but I sleep so crazy I roll over a hundred times a night and I have to take the darn pillow with me, readjust, and then fall back asleep.  Because of my pelvic pain I am grunting and groaning every time I roll over, so I wake BD up and then we both have a cruddy night.  And then sometimes, the pillow gets intertwined between both our long legs and I have to fight to get it back.  Once all of that has happened, I'm awake and then have to pee.  Once back in the bed I can't get comfortable-  If I lay on my left side I squish Jr.  If I lay on my right side I have to deal with nose-breath on me.  I can't stand nose breath!!!  On top of all of this I am 30 degrees hotter than I've ever been- so we sleep with the window open.  In the dead of winter, in Europe...we're sleeping with the window open.  Almost every night I end up getting up to close the window because it's raining in the bedroom.  Then there's the dreams.  The dreeeeeeeams.  I've had dreams that would make Jenna Jameson blush!  The kind where you're almost scared to go to sleep again the next night. ;)

I've written way more than I should have and I could've kept going, but I'll leave you here for now.  There's sure to be more pregnancy-blogging in my future.  Hope I didn't offend anyone- I'm just keeping it real.  And anyway, what did you expect to find behind the title of this post? ;)